


The Old Meets The New

by Ironkhaleesi



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M, Loki One Shot, Violence, abuse against reader, avengers one shot, domestic abuse, implied previous abuse against reader, possible triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-03-07 09:45:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3170285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ironkhaleesi/pseuds/Ironkhaleesi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is up to his usual antics, but then your ex husband approaches the two of you and Loki finds out that you're more scared of your ex than you are of him. When he discovers why, things get messy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Coffee.” You mutter in disgust as your boot kicks at the pavement in front of you. “I’m a skilled assassin and my intelligence matches that of Banners, yet the Avengers send me to collect their coffee.”

You let your head fall back against the brick wall you were leaning on as you heaved out a defeated sigh. You couldn’t blame them. As much as these menial tasks irked you, you could understand why the Avengers were keeping you at a distance. You were in all of their bad books, every single one of them had had a run in with you at one point in their lives, and not once had it ended well.

Stark admired you, when you weren’t hacking into his systems and flirting with him in front of Pepper to cause a fight. The Captain you were pretty sure just wanted to throw you in a prison cell and keep you there, after all, you were always the bad guy behind every mission he had to go on, if not directly, than indirectly. Banner got irritated with the ways you would intentionally poke and prod him, trying to set the other guy off, you did that for simple amusement, and because when he was on a rampage it was far easier to duck under his radar and steal any information he had hidden away. Natasha couldn’t stand the fact that you constantly out witted her, and that none of her interrogation tactics ever worked on you, what made it worse was that whenever you did give her information, she couldn’t tell if you were lying to throw her off your trail, or if you were telling the truth so you could use her as a pawn in your games. Barton, well, you tried to kill him once, he was still holding a grudge over that. Thor actually kind of liked you, though he was still pissed about you threatening to kill his precious human when your pleas for release from the Avengers was refused continuously.

Yeah, it was safe to say that you were probably next on their hit list once Loki had been dealt with. Until then they were keeping you as far away from their secrets as humanly possible, hell, they sent you back down to the ground to get the coffee, despite the fact they had a kitchen with a coffee machine. You figured they were up to something that they didn’t want you to know about. The only reason they’d brought you into the game in the first place was because they needed you for all the gory fight scenes and witty retorts that usually happened between hero and villain.

You heaved out another sigh as you looked down at your watch. You’d been waiting outside this godforsaken coffee shop for twenty minutes.

“How long does it take to make freakin’ coffee?” You muttered.

“The young assassin sent out on an errand for the fearful Avengers. How the mighty have fallen.” Your head snapped up at the familiar, velvety tone. Loki stood just a few feet away, a playful smirk on his face as he watched you carefully. Despite the fact that he constantly brushed off the threat of the Avenger’s, he always kept a careful eye on you. He knew that if anyone was going to bring him down, you would be the one to do it. Thor and his new found friends were nothing but toys for Loki to play with, but you….he should have killed you a long time ago, that he knew. He didn’t though, obviously, despite the fact he actually did see you as a threat, he also saw the potential in you. You weren’t a ‘good guy’, you’d never wanted to be. Hell, you’d been forced to join the Avengers, you were quite content to just sit back and let the world burn, until they reminded you that you would burn along with it. Now Loki was set on obtaining you for his own needs. He didn’t just want you to join his army, he wanted you to run it, to be his ‘right hand man’ as people would say. The difficulty in that plan was that he wanted you to join him of your own free will, he didn’t want an obedient soldier, he wanted a companion, a friend, more even, to rule the world with. And you were just perfect.

You mimicked his smirk and pushed off the wall, turning your body to face him. Your heart beat rapidly against your ribs. You were willing to admit that you were scared of him, you would have to be a fool not to be, but if you were honest with yourself, you’d met worse than him.

“Sorry, Loki, I’m not signing t-shirts today, you’ll just have to find some other superhero to fan-girl over. I hear Stark is looking for someone to fawn over him. You know how big his ego can get.” You say.

“You’re no superhero, Y/N, you and I both know that.” Loki replied.

You lifted a shoulder in a carefree shrug. “It’s fun to play pretend, but enough about me, I want to hear about your devious plans for the day.” You moved closer to him, your smirk widening into a grin.

“Why, haven’t you heard little one?” He spread his arms wide and gave let his own smile widen as he looked up at the sky. “I’m taking over the world.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. You had to admit, despite the fact that Loki was trying to burn everything to ground, you actually liked the guy. In fact, you thought that the two of you could have been friends under different circumstances.

Loki looked back down at you, his smile softening at your laugh, it was only for a split second, and then his usual smug look was back in place.

“So you’re starting with this coffee shop then, huh?” You say once your laughter died down. “If that’s the case, than could you tell them to hurry along with the cappuccino’s before you smite them down.”

Loki looked at the door of the little shop thoughtfully before looking back at you. “I could just kill them all for making you wait. I could also just dispose of the ‘Avengers’ for sending you on this menial quest. With your help of course. You and I, we could rule the world together, no force could stop us.” His voice dropped seductively, and you had to lean in towards each other just so you could hear him.

You gave him another nonchalant shrug. “I like humans, Loki. They’re stupid, easy to manipulate.” A man brushed past Loki and you stepped to the side slightly so the two of you bumped into each other. He apologised profusely before heading on his way once again. You smiled at Loki and held up the man’s wallet. “Easy to steal from. They’re predictable. I understand them. I don’t understand aliens, and I don’t like change.”

Loki smiled again as he eyed the wallet you dropped onto the little outdoor table that sat close by, his eyes flicked back to yours. “I could help you understand, Y/N. I would show you an entire new world. One that you can manipulate to your heart’s desire.”

You opened your mouth to reply but your retort got stuck in your throat as you saw a familiar face walking up behind Loki. Your body began to shiver and you felt the blood drain from your face. It was a man, taller than Loki, and double his width. His eyes were locked on you and his face screamed murder.

You backed away from Loki, not seeing the frown on his face as he watched you. “I’m sorry, Loki, I have to go.”

Loki growled. “I may like you better than those barbarians trying to save the monkey’s that inhabit this planet, but that does not mean that I will allow you to disrespect me, Y/N. I came here to talk to you, and you will listen. If you walk away from me right now, then I will kill you, slowly, very slowly, until you beg for mercy.”

Your shook your head, your eyes still trained on the man that was advancing on you. “I can’t. I’m sorry, Loki.” You turned and ran. As you reached an alleyway, you slapped your hand against the brick to slow yourself down so you can turn into it, figuring you could lose the man, your ex-husband, amongst the buildings. You looked back quickly just before you turned the corner and your heart dropped. Loki had the same murderous look on his face that your ex had, but that didn’t scare you as much as the fact that said ex was now running past Loki to chase you down.

Loki’s anger turned to confusion as he watched the man run past him and after you. As you disappeared down the alley way he tilted his head and followed.

You came to a wire fence that blocked your path down the alley, but you didn’t slow down, instead you sped up and jumped at the fence, landing close to the top. Just as you got the top half of your body over the fence, just as you had hope that you might get away, a large, clammy hand wrapped around your ankle. Your leg got yanked at, hard, causing you to fly from the fence back to the ground on the side that you were trying to escape from. You manage to twist in the air and put your arms out to prevent your head from banging against the concrete too hard. You were still winded though, and you had to take a couple seconds to try and drag air back into your lungs before you could get up. Those few seconds were crucial, and before you could even form an escape plan, the same hand grabbed you by the back of the sweater and yanked up off the ground, throwing you into the brick wall. Before you could focus, the man got a tight grip around your neck and his hot breath was in your face.

“I have been waiting years to see you again sweetheart. Did you really think that I wouldn’t be able to track you down? You’re going to pay for running from me.” He spat.

“Jerry, please.” You rasped out.

“Shut up bitch.” He reached behind him and whipped out an army knife that he’d had tucked away somewhere. He took his hand from your throat, and in any other situation you would have been able to fight the guy off without any difficulty. But this wasn’t any other situation. This was your ex-husband, and all the old fears and memories of his abuse came flooding back into your mind and you found yourself turning back into the young helpless girl that you once were. As he grabbed the bottom of your sweater and cut it roughly up the middle, tearing it the rest of the way off you to reveal your tank top, you pushed at him to no avail, forgetting everything that you were taught.

He hid the knife a way again and grabbed you by the shoulder with one hand. “Stop struggling.” He growled, his other hand folding into a fist as he landed a hard punch to your ribs. You heard a couple of them crack but before you could register the pain he was throwing you to the ground again and standing over you.

“What do we have here?” You looked up at Loki’s voice, and for the first time, you were actually relieved that he was here. You scrambled to your feet, slipping out of Jerry’s reaching grasp, and ran the few feet it took to cling to his arm and partially hide behind him. You fixed your eyes on Jerry, watching his every move.

“Who the hell are you?” Jerry growled, staring Loki down.

Naturally, Loki didn’t even bat an eyelash. “I am Loki.”

“Well, Loki, this doesn’t concern you. This is between me and my wife.” You flinched at the word, your grip tightening on Loki’s arm.

He looked down at you then, but you avoided his eyes. Suddenly you felt his soft hands grip one of your arms gently, his slender fingers trailing lightly over the smattering of scars that covered it. “I glimpsed these once before.” He murmured. “I had thought that they looked a little odd to be battle scars. They look as though they were made by fingers nails and broken glass bottles.” You didn’t say anything.

Loki looked back up at Jerry. “Did you do this too her?” He asked calmly.

“I don’t have to-”

“Answer me human!” Loki yelled as he surged forward, his arm tearing from your grip. You took the chance to back pedal out of the alley way, as you turned the corner, you ran smack into a hard chest. Thor reached out and gripped your shoulders to steady you.

“Are you alright Y/N?” He asked. You nodded mutely. “Did Loki do this to you?”

You glanced down at yourself and noticed blood smeared all over you, you couldn’t remember being cut by Jerry, but by the stinging on your arms and hands and legs, you were willing to bet you had grazes from the fall and cuts from the wire fence.

“No, Loki didn’t do anything.” You said. You heard a yell and thump behind you and you spun around in time to see Jerry come flying out of the alley and skid across the pavement. “He did this to me.” You said.

“Y/N, where did you get these scars?” Captain asked as he gripped your arm and twisted it this way and that. “These aren’t bullet or knife wounds.”

You disentangled your arm from his and nodded back to Jerry just as Loki stormed out of the alley way after him. “He did that too.”

“And who exactly is he?” Stark asked.

“My ex-husband.” You answered coolly.

“Well, might as well pull up a seat.” Stark answered after a few minutes of everyone giving you sympathetic looks. His mask retreated back from his face as he went over and pulled a seat back from the table where the forgotten wallet sat. Everyone paused for a moment before slowly following suit, only Thor remained standing beside you as you watched Loki beat Jerry.

“You pathetic, grovelling human! You are not worth her fear!” He screamed as he grabbed Jerry by the front of the shirt and threw him against the wall.

“I mean this as no insult, but how is it that that man was able to beat you like he did. I have seen you fight Y/N. Not even I would be able to get away with beating you like that, you would flay the meat from my bones.” Thor said, his arms crossed as he watched the fight unfold in front of him.

“I was only sixteen, he was twenty. I was forced into marrying him by my parents. I didn’t know how to fight properly then, and Jerry is like the Hulk, only he doesn’t turn green and he really isn’t a nice guy underneath it all.” You explained distantly, as if you weren’t at all affected by your past.

“I am truly sorry-”

“Don’t pity me.” You say, cutting off his apology. “If it wasn’t for what he did to me, for what my parents did to me, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.”

“You were a child, Y/N.”

“I was weak.”

There was silence for a few moments as Thor stared down at you. “Your strength is admirable. I don’t think you know this, but often times I find myself in complete awe of you.”

You give him a small smile. “Yeah, I am pretty awesome.” You pat him on the chest as you turn to head back towards where the rest of the ‘superhero squad’ sat. “Tell Loki to wrap it up, he’s got a world to end and we still have to stop him from doing it.”


	2. A Question of Morals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki has finally been captured and the two of you have a meaningful conversation while he sits in the cage.

You chuckled softly as you casually approached the glass cage, Loki turned and graced you with a charming smile as his eyes fell on you.   
“Y/N. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” He purred as he strolled gracefully towards your side of the cage, stopping only when he could go no further.   
You lifted your shoulder in a half shrug, the amused expression still on your face. “Pride, arrogance; I really only came here to gloat, Loki.”  
“Is that so?” Your only response was the corner of your mouth quirking up in another smile. “Tell me then, what have you to gloat about?”   
You lifted an eyebrow in curiosity. “If you haven’t noticed already, almighty God of mischief,” he laughed, “you’re trapped in a glass cage. More precisely, a cage owned by S.H.I.E.L.D that just so happens to be the only thing between you….and a rather large drop.”   
He gave you a mock frown and shifted on his feet. “Come now, little one. You are far more intelligent than that. You know, deep down in your very bones, that it was too easy to capture me.”  
You watched him for a little while, hoping to wait him out, but he just watched you right back. The emerald of his eyes and the flirtatious tilt of his mouth very slowly became the only things that you could focus on.   
“Fine.” You said, breaking the tension. “You caught me. I’m really here to find out what it is exactly that you’re planning.”  
“There’s my girl.” Loki cooed as he paced towards the middle of the cage before turning back to you again. “What makes you think that I’ll reveal all my secrets to you?” He asked, slightly curious. You always were a marvel to him, he could never quite figure you out. And when he finally did feel like he had you pinned down, you would do something that completely contradicted everything that he thought he knew about you; so yes, he was curious about all things you said and did.  
You shrugged again before leaning your side against the cage and sliding down it until you were sitting on the ground with your legs stretched out in front of you. “I’m easy to talk to. People tell me I’m quite the good listener.” You joked.   
The tip of his tongue slid through his teeth as his smirk spread into a wide, genuine grin. It drew your attention so easily that you had to refrain from cursing yourself for this strange infatuation you had with him.   
“You are quite a charming young creature.” He said, laughter in his voice as he looked down at you.  
Your face held nothing but mild amusement and he again found himself becoming curious as to what exactly was going through your mind. After a moment or so of watching you, he finally made his way back over to you and mimicked your position on the ground, only he faced the opposite way so he could comfortably watch your face as the two of you talked.   
Your gaze dropped down to your lap as his eyes searched your face. You knew what was coming next, it had only been a matter of time before the subject came up and you still had no idea what you were going to tell him; if you were going to tell him anything at all. You didn’t owe him an explanation, so why did you feel like you did.   
“I wish to talk with you about that worthless midguardian ape that claimed you as his wife.” Loki said softly as he watched your face for a reaction.  
“If it will please your majesty.” It was meant to be a joke, but your heart just wasn’t in it, and Loki could see that.  
“Why are you wed to someone such as him?” He asked.  
“We’re not married. Not anymore at least. I left him quite a few years ago, I sent him divorce papers but even though he signed them he still….searches for me I guess. He doesn’t like that I left him. He doesn’t like that I became strong enough to leave him.” You answered quietly.  
There was silence for a moment but you still refused to look up at the man that was only inches from your touch.   
Finally Loki said, “Why does he frighten you more than I do? I understand he hurt you quite viscously, but I’m trying to rule your world. Yet you are able to sit and converse with me, whereas the mere sight of him made you run in fear.”   
You looked up at Loki then, searching his face for some sort of emotion that you could understand, but all you found was a blank stare. “Do you want me to be afraid of you?” You asked softly.  
He was silent for a moment as he thought about how to answer. “Answer the question, little one.” Was the response that he finally settled on.   
You smiled slightly at the endearment, but nevertheless you answered his question the best that you could. “You are not as evil as you think you are, Loki. You are simply hurt, and angry, and misunderstood. While your actions are wrong and your intentions aren’t completely pure, they’re still….understandable. To me anyway. You can still be reasoned with, all you need is for someone to listen to you. Jerry,” you sighed before continuing, “he is none of those things. He is just cruel. He enjoys hurting people. He enjoys feeling powerful when he dominates people that are weaker than him. He can’t be reasoned with. That’s what scares me.”   
“Do not fool yourself into thinking you can help me, Y/N. I cannot be saved.” Loki said.  
“That thought is exactly what got you in this mess in the first place, Loki.” He didn’t answer that, but you could tell he was considering your words, that he might even believe them.   
“Do you truly think that you can save me?” He asked.  
“The question isn’t whether or not you can be saved. It’s whether or not you want to be saved.”   
He searched your face, almost desperately, and you felt like there were so many things that he wanted to say to you. That he needed to say, but he just….wouldn’t. He didn’t know how to share what he was feeling, and so he was at a complete loss at what to do with the situation he was in.   
“Do you want to be saved, Loki?” You asked him. This was the make or break question. You wanted to help him, you really did, but you couldn’t do anything if he didn’t want you too.  
He opened his mouth then, and you steeled yourself for his answer, but just as suddenly his mouth slammed shut and his eyes shifted over your shoulder.   
Natasha was standing there. You sighed internally and stood up, Loki following suite.  
“Are the two of you enjoying your slumber party?” She drawled. You didn’t bother answering her, instead you made to leave but her next words stopped you in your tracks. “I’m sorry about your ex-husband, Y/N. You-”  
“Don’t pretend as though you care Romanoff.” You shot back. She shut her mouth with an audible snap and you continued past her. You didn’t look back at Loki, but you could feel his eyes burning a hole through the back of your head. That was enough to make you speed up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm willing to write more if that's what you wish :)


	3. Old Habit Die Hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki breaks out and Steve catches the two of you talking, bringing your loyalties into question. In the end you leave Steve in the same boat that he started out in, wondering whether you are his ally or enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there are very subtle Steve feels concerning his view on the reader. Let me know if you guys like where it's heading :)

You had no idea where you were. All you’d paid attention too was the agent that you were chasing through the never ending debris of the Helicarrier, but by the looks of the bus-sized hole in the side of the craft, you were guessing that you were located in the area where the engine had been blown out.

You jumped back, evading a right hook and almost losing your footing, though waving your arms like a maniac seemed to keep you from toppling over the edge and out into the open air. You took a giant step forward to prevent any more close calls and proceeded to throw hard blows at the enemy agent in front of you, aiming to push him back away from the opening.

After a few near misses, the agent seemed to remember that he had a gun stashed away in the holster at his ankle. The kick you’d sent him beforehand had sent him flying back out of your reach, so you didn’t have enough time to disarm him before you were in his cross hairs. You dived backwards instead. Landing on your stomach and sliding a few feet, you retrieved the gun you’d knocked from him earlier and rolled to your back, simultaneously lifting it to aim and shifting your upper body up off the ground to find a better angle.

What you found when you looked back again froze you in shock. The agent was already on the ground, dead or unconscious you weren’t sure from this distance, but what concerned you was the fact that Loki was standing over him, sceptre in hand.

“Loki?” you said dumbly. You’d known he’d escaped, that’s what all the fighting was for, but you hadn’t expected to actually see him. In fact, you’d assumed that he was off the Helicarrier by now.

“So shocked, little one. I’m insulted that you’d think me a coward,” he replied. And though he’d said he was insulted, a smirk graced his lips, leaving you to feel as though this was as normal a conversation as any.

You climbed to your feet as Loki made his way over to you, stopping only a few feet away. You dropped your gun to your side, something that you would have kicked yourself for had you been in the right state of mind, but you weren’t. Right now, it felt like you were right back outside that coffee shop, it didn’t feel like you were supposed to be taking down Loki, it felt like the two of you were old friends, just catching up.

Of course, Loki was in the right state of mind. He watched your every move like a hawk, hell-bent on the concept that you were trying to lull him into a false sense of security, it didn’t take him long to realise his mistake though, and he found himself almost jumping with joy at the fact that you hadn’t yet considered him an enemy in this fight.

“I thought you were smart,” you retorted. “It’s too dangerous for you to be sticking around. You don’t have enough men or enough space to take on the Avenger’s right now.”

“Is that concern for my wellbeing I sense?” Loki asked, his eyebrow lifting and his smirk growing a little brighter.

You scoffed. “More like concern for my wellbeing. If you’re still here, then the Brady Bunch are going to continue tearing this carrier apart. Half of them might survive the crash, but I sure as hell won’t.”

“Come with me. I will ensure your safety. You have my word.”

Loki held his hand out to you, and the action caused another wave of shock to flood you. You half expected him to use that hand to hit you if you reached for it. He had never shown any sort of need for physical contact, let alone something as familiar as holding hands. You shook your head free of the thoughts, now wasn’t the time to analyse things.

“We’ve discussed this, Loki.”

He dropped his hand to his side and you almost mourned at the thought that he may never offer it to you again. His smile faltered in irritation, but one looked at your hand and it was back again.

“Yet you still hold your weapon dormant. You can’t blame me for assuming you consider me an ally.” 

You looked down at the gun in your hand. A moment passed, though it seemed like hours, and you lifted the gun. Time seemed to slow, and in the agonising seconds it took to make your muscles work, a war went on inside of you. In the end, even if you managed to aim the gun at him, you weren’t sure that you’d be able to pull the trigger.

The choice was taken out of your hands a moment later when Steve appeared on the platform just across from the two of you. He froze for a second, taking in the scene. Loki was the one who acted first. He swiped his sceptre down whilst you watched Steve, catching you off guard and knocking your legs out from under you. You grunted as you landed on your back. You watched in shock and, you thought maybe, betrayal as Loki took the sceptre in both his hands and brought it down hard as though he were going to pierce your heart.

Before the weapon made contact, he shimmered green and Steve’s shield passed through him at lightning speeds before rebounding off the wall and returning to its owner. Loki glanced at Steve before giving you another smirk, then he was gone. Steve moved to chase after him, but went to your side instead when he saw that you were struggling to regain control of your breathing.

“Are you alright?” he asked when you seemed to be getting past the initial shock.

“Fine,” you grumbled.

When you still didn’t move he stood and held his hand out to you. You knocked it away and climbed back to your feet, grabbing the railing briefly when you stumbled. You straightened, and prepared to push past Steve, but stopped when you saw the hard look in his eye.

“What’s your problem, Rogers,” you growled.

“I saw you and Loki …” he trailed off, not really sure what exactly he’d seen. Part of him thought that he’d seen the two of you talking civilly, another part was certain he’d seen you raise your gun. Though his entire body vibrated with distrust towards you, he had to keep reminding himself that the two of you were fighting towards a common goal.

“What? You think I’m conspiring or something?” you asked.

Steve looked at you. He’d been on the fence about what he’d seen, but the fact that you’d jumped straight to that conclusion had him leaning more towards the conspiracy side.

“You tell me,” he said sternly.

You scoffed and tucked the gun away, trying to appear as harmless as possible. You didn’t need another reason for these guys to send you on coffee runs.

“If I was conspiring with Loki, do you honestly think that we would be swapping information in the middle of a fight where anyone could hear us?” you argued.

Steve shrugged. “It’s the only time the two of you would be alone. We have eyes on you twenty four seven.”

“Exactly!” you exclaimed. “You’ve constantly got people watching me. You know that Loki has approached me more than once to ask me to join him. You know I’ve declined every single time. Yet you’re still determined to see me as a threat.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve tricked me. Or any of the other’s for that matter. You and Loki are both power hungry. You’re friendly with each other. Any sane person would come to the conclusion that you would work with him, given the chance.”

You took an angry step forward and pointed an accusing finger at him. “You’re wrong! Any sane person would see that the world isn’t black and white. There isn’t good people and bad people, Rogers. There’s good people who do shitty things and there’s shitty people who do good things. Occasionally it’s the opposite way around, those people are the ones that make a difference in the world, whether it’s good or bad.”

When he replied with only his infamous brooding look you pushed past him, only to stop and turn back to find him already watching you.

“You know what?” you said softly. “That’s gonna be your downfall, Steve. You are so determined to find the good in people that when they don’t meet your standards, you assume that they’re the evil villain you have to fight. You don’t even give them a chance to prove you wrong. And yeah, I’m a pretty shitty person, but guess what,” you stopped and shrugged your arms, “I haven’t made a difference in the world.”

Steve watched on solemnly as you left him, feeling as though his whole world had been tipped upside down. You always seemed to have that effect on him. Every time the two of you met, whether it be under good or bad circumstances, you always had something new to show him. New perspectives, new morals, it didn’t matter what, what mattered was how much better of a man he became after being in your presence.


	4. Friends and Enemies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony forces your hand and you end up making a decision that the Avengers had never planned for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final part to the Old Meets The New series. It’s taken so long to think of a good ending for this! Thank you for being patient :)

From the beginning, you knew the Avengers would never trust you – may never like you. But after your compliance, after you helped capture Loki despite how you felt about him (and despite the fact he managed to escape anyway), you had expected respect at the very least. You’d expected them to stop treating you like the enemy after you’d proved time and time again that you weren’t.

You were a fool to believe it.

“I say we lock her up,” Tony said. “A pre-emptive strike so to speak.”

You rolled your eyes from where you leant against the doorway of the conference room. You were sure that they forgot you were in the room half the time. Or they were just assholes. In Tony’s case, you were guessing the latter.

“Or we could stop talking about her like she’s not here,” Natasha said.

“You mean like you just did,” you said.

She sighed and slumped back in her chair. It may not have been the smartest idea, calling out one of the few people in the room that were trying to stick up for you. But they were doing it out of pity – more so Natasha than anyone else. They hear you had a messed up childhood and suddenly you were the poor little assassin that just didn’t know any better.

Well, you did know better. Every choice you made was yours. Every person you killed had everything to do with who you were as a person and nothing to do with daddy issues.

You didn’t want or need their pity. You just wanted the respect you’d earned. And maybe a head start when they started hunting you down after Loki was dealt with.

Steve, standing at the front of the room with his thumbs tucked into his belt (as usual), said, “I’m sorry, Y/N. But your relationship with Loki makes you a compromised agent.”

You scoffed and pushed off the doorframe to move further into the room. “What relationship? He tracked me down and talked to me a handful of times. All of which you have audio and visual footage of.”

“Except your little rendezvous when he made a break for it,” Tony said.

“Shut up, Tony,” Clint said. He gave you a tentative smile but you didn’t return it. It was pity, nothing more. You couldn’t allow yourself to believe it was anything more. To do so would only end in you being hurt. You weren’t on their level. They weren’t your friends.

You turned your attention back to Steve. “Look,” you said. “You people were the ones that tracked me down, incarcerated me and forced me to join the Avengers. I agreed because the last thing I want is to live in a world run by aliens. I did everything you told me to do and more. And now you’re treating me like a potential terrorist threat!”

“Are you?” Steve said.

Your head snapped back in shock at the question. Tears pricked the back of your eyes and you weren’t sure if that shocked you more than Steve’s question.

For years you’d been on your own. You’d never had a team. Never had a partner in crime. Fighting against the Avengers had been the closest you’d ever come to assuaging your loneliness. They were the closest you’d ever come to having friends. And they weren’t even your friends. You didn’t realise how sad that was until that moment. You didn’t realise how much you actually needed to be with the Avengers until their leader made it clear you were nothing more than a terrorist in their eyes.

“See?” Tony said as he came to your side and put a hand on your shoulder. “She can’t even tell us if she is or isn’t a danger to everyone.” You sniffed and shook his hand off your shoulder as your eyes dropped to the conference table in front of you. He looked at you and slid his hand back onto your shoulder. “Go on, give us one reason why we shouldn’t lock you up right now.”

“Tony,” Clint warned as he watched your hands clench into fists.

“Get your hand off me,” you said.

“You aren’t one of us,” Tony said. “We didn’t bring you in to be an Avenger, Y/N. We brought you in to fight fire with fire. Pit a terrible human being against an equally awful Asgardian.”

“Tony!” Natasha leapt to her feet and slammed her hands down on the table.

Clint made to stand and come towards you to drag Tony away but you had the self-proclaimed playboy face down on the table before Clint could make it one step.

“You know nothing about me. Nothing!” you said as the tears finally slipped down your cheeks. “You sit up in your ivory tower and look down on the rest of the world. You think you’re owed something because you dress up in a metal suit and call yourself the protector of the people. Well, guess what? No one owes you shit. At the end of the day, you’re not worth any more than the poorest of the poor. And you’re not any more of a good person than you were when you sold weapons blindfolded.”

You weren’t sure what you were expecting. Silence. A smart ass remark from Tony. Maybe, at the very least, an apology. What you didn’t expect was to be hit with a beam of energy and go flying through the glass wall of the conference room to hit concrete on the other side.

You hadn’t heard the mechanical whirring of Tony’s Iron Man hand when it flew into the room and attached itself to him. But you should have. You should never have let your guard down around them. Should never have believed that one day they might see you as something more than the enemy.

You had no one to blame but yourself.

You groaned as you rolled to your stomach on the broken glass. Your vision tilted and blurred from the impact of your head on the concrete. You were sure you had a concussion. Your arms and face stung from shallow cuts.

Through a curtain of hair, you saw Steve restrain Tony as he marched towards you. Clint fell to his knees at your side and checked for serious wounds before helping you to your feet.

Feeling hurt, both physically and emotionally, you pushed him away once you were stable. Pain shot through your left leg when you put pressure on it, and you looked down to find a large shard of glass embedded in your outer thigh.

You growled in pain as you yanked it out.

They stood there and watched you. The Avengers. None of them apologised. None of them bothered to ask if you were okay. They just stood and watched. Waiting for a reaction. You realised then they expected a reaction – they expected you to attack. Despite what Tony had just done, you didn’t expect they would take your side if you started a fight just then.

Your tears had dried up and you promised yourself they would be the last ones you ever shed for anyone. You pressed your hand over your stomach where the energy beam had hit and dropped the shard of glass to the ground.

“I’m done here. The world can burn to the ground for all I care. I’ll be happy to burn with it,” you said.

You turned to leave but paused at the sound of Steve’s voice. “If you break this alliance we’ll be forced to do more than incarcerate you, Y/N.”

You glanced over your shoulder at him. “Do whatever you have to. Tony was right. I’m not an Avenger. I never will be.”

You left then and no one tried to stop you.

****

You sat on the edge of a cliff with a name you didn’t know, looking down at an ocean you’d never seen before when Loki found you.

You didn’t bother trying to contact him after you left the Avengers. He’d tracked you down so many times that you were starting to think he had you tagged. Or at least he had someone watching you.

“I didn’t take you as one who liked a view,” he said from behind you.

You looked out at the setting sun. “I’m not.”

There was silence for a moment before he took a seat beside you and let his legs hang over the edge of the cliff. You grimaced as you shifted. You hadn’t bothered changing clothes. You hadn’t even bothered cleaning out your wounds or bandaging your leg. If you bled out it would be the best thing to happen to you all day.

“I take it your alliance with the Avengers has been terminated,” Loki said as he looked down at you.

“They wanted an enemy. I’m giving them one.”

“And I want you.” You looked up at him and he gave you a soft smile. “Do I get what I want as well?”

You looked back out at the ocean. “As long as you’re convenient to me.”

Loki grinned. “And when I’m not?”

“Then you’re as good as dead.”

Loki didn’t make the same mistake the Avengers did. He didn’t underestimate you. He didn’t make you his enemy. Instead, he made you his equal. You became his advisor. His friend. His partner in crime.

And when he was finally caught, you gave yourself up and became Loki’s cellmate. Courtesy of Thor.


End file.
